Tug-of-War With Emotions

Imagine that you’re in a tug-of-war with a giant, ugly monster. It’s big, strong, and terrifying and you definitely want to keep your distance from it. Then, also imagine that between you and the monster is an endless open pit. You might find yourself thinking that you’ve got to try to pull the monster down the pit before it pulls you down first. However, because this monster is so big and strong, when you pull on the rope, the monster pulls back twice as hard. You have no other option than to hold tight onto the rope for dear life. You feel like you’re being pulled back and forth in a game that you’ll ultimately lose. You would do anything to get rid of this monster pulling you closer and closer to the edge.

Often in our sheer desperation to get rid of our overwhelming anxieties or emotions we end up holding on more tightly to the battle instead. This can actually result in amplifying the anxiety or emotion or maybe you end up feeling completely trapped in a hopeless pattern. An alternative to holding tight is dropping the rope of the tug-of-war. Although this might seem like the scarier option because the monster doesn’t disappear, but now you’re actually free of the struggle and no longer heading towards the pit. 

Dropping the rope is often used as a metaphor for the concept of acceptance. In dropping the rope and accepting the presence of the perceived monster (or emotion, anxiety, etc.), we can learn to tolerate its presence while untethering ourselves from its control on our behaviours. If you’re finding yourself with something you’re struggling with that you’d like to let go of, let’s work on that together. You don’t have to face the monster alone.